THINK AFTER YOU FEEL 愛

  I figured that memory does not match with what we think of a linear timeline, which has a past, a present and a future. Memory influences what makes an individual; memory is always present. But we can be forgetful and unaware of its legacy. Some people might preach about that ‘God is the smallest particle (to the world)’. However, I recognise that memory is the smallest particle to everyone. You are the embodiment of all the memories that you are living with.

 

  This is one of the key ideas that make me rethink about history. In broad meaning, history is memory. But who is in the history? How do you broadcast it and pass it down?

 

  Through a language, we learn to define the world and to coordinate with those who speak the same language. Just to name a few things that come with a language: How do you observe the Nature and time? How do you recognise family and relationships? How do you set the boundaries between yourself and the strange others?

 

                                                                                                是按怎我袂當揀佗種言語是阮母語？

He aha i ngaro ai etahi tikanga? 

                                                                                                                 لماذا لم يعد أحد يبتكر لغات جديدة؟

 

  I later realised that I had been trying to contextualise the power of narrative. To create or eliminate a sense of community, we only need to chat about what you have learned and remembered. Similarly, I noted the way ‘world-building’ systematically structuring video games and other fictional media, and then acknowledged that it had supported my research. 

 

  Who set the parameters and rules? Can I build a world myself? Can I ignore your standards and still be beautiful and excellent? How do I exist? How do you exist without the strange others?

 

  From the way I see it: everyone is forever moving and looking around. Please imagine each of us is going forward throughout respective lifetimes: I met you, and you might see them; They will let me go, and we are leaving you… Each existence keeps going on and on, not even death can stop this. Obvious or obscure, not far from the way water goes around, everyone makes a part of this global spinning (centripetal and centrifugal forces trying to meet balance). If anyone says, ‘it doesn’t matter to me', they are making believe.

  It feels nice that someone tries to understand my world while I have been doing the same thing to 萬事萬物 (every matter and being; or in one word, everything). It could be magical to find those who sees the world like I do (if possible). Nevertheless I don’t worship any kinds of  idol in my life, and that makes me solitary. To feed my hunger for connection, I need to stay on my journey to reach a place and feel accepted and loved until I get up and depart again and so on, ad infinitum.